Many people think about what they would do if they were raped. You may imagine that you would fight back, scream or run away, the reality of rape can in fact be so traumatic that the body’s natural freeze response could be triggered leaving  you powerless to do anything during the attack. 

This can often leave you feeling upset or angry with yourself for not being able to fight or run away.  This is a normal response to an event that is outside of your everyday experiences and you should not feel responsible for anything that you did or did not do during the attack.

Everyone will respond in their own unique way following an attack, there are however some feelings that are experienced by many survivors of sexual violence.

Guilt - Many survivors blame themselves for rape or sexual abuse.  You may be wondering what you did to make your attacker choose you, you may be wondering if it was something you said or did that made it happen.  Although this is a common feeling, the truth is that you were not responsible for your attack.  The only person who is responsible for sexual violence is the perpetrator, no matter what the circumstances were surrounding the attack.

Disbelief - You may be finding it hard to believe that this could happen to you, or that a person that you know or trust could have done this to you. Most sexual offences are committed by a person known to the victim. This makes it even harder to make sense of what has happened or to come to decision about what to do. The stereotype of an attacker hiding in the bushes waiting for a victim to walk by is in fact rare.

You are normal - Some people describe feeling dazed or numb following an attack, sometimes describing it as like living in a dream. 

You may be trying to make sense of what happened to you, you may not remember things in the right order or maybe you can’t remember everything that was said or done during the attack. This is your body’s way of protecting you from the trauma of sexual violence and is a perfectly normal response to such a traumatic experience.

Another common occurrence is distortion of time. Many survivors know how long an attack took but often feel like it happened in slow motion or that it took much longer than it was in reality.  Although you may not feel it this is a normal response to a traumatic event.

Feeling out of control - An experience of sexual violence can leave you feeling powerless. This feeling of powerlessness can affect you in many ways, for example you may have felt powerless during the rape or sexual assault as your attacker would have control and taken away your choices.  You may have felt powerless to control your body if you froze during the attack or felt unable to stop what was happening.  You may feel a sense of powerlessness around your own emotions as you may be experiencing very strong feelings that may be difficult to control.  These feelings may also leave you with concerns or fears that you will not be able to control the decisions you need to make at this point and you may be afraid of the process involved in accessing support.  

These are feelings that are common following a rape or sexual assault.  Staff at Helen Britton House will understand your concerns and their aim is to ensure that survivors of sexual violence are empowered and encouraged to take back control.  They will help you to ensure that your decisions are acted upon and that you will not be pushed or encouraged to do or say anything that you feel uncomfortable with.